The day before Mother’s Day is recognized as Birth Mother’s Day (May 11, 2019) . Here are ten of the ten thousand things birth mothers want the world to know.
- I have always wanted what is best for my child. Most parents know when raising a child, you have to make sacrifices. Birth parents know this better than anyone and have made the ultimate sacrifice of not being the parent.
- I wish people would reach out to birth parents, so they can understand us. Sometimes it feels like people don’t want to understand because society/movies/news stories portray birth parents negatively. If you just take the time to listen to someone’s story, you learn what it is truly like to be in their shoes.
- Sometimes it is OK to ask about my child, but sometimes I just can’t talk about it. Our child holds a large place in our heart, and sometimes we want or even need to talk about them. But sometimes it’s just too painful.
- Birthdays are hard, but Mother’s Day is very hard. Are we mothers, or aren’t we? Do we want to be acknowledged on Mother’s Day? Well, kind of. We know this day is meant for the mothers who are “mothering” but we still brought life into this world and it means a lot to us. We still want to know that we matter.
- I never stop thinking about my child. Not one day goes by that I don’t think about my child.
- I will always remember. In days of old, women who placed babies for adoption were told to move on and forget. That’s really not possible. Many clergy have heard deathbed confessions about babies placed for adoption. How profound it is that the last thought in a dying woman’s mind is of a baby she never knew but always held in her heart.
- I will love them forever.
- I want my child to bond with their adoptive family. The point in placing a child for adoption is to provide them with a home where they can grow up to be a well adjusted healthy adult. We know bonding is essential to healthy mental health so we love seeing their family flourish.
- I am very protective of my child’s best interests. Part of my child’s best interests includes their family. I want them to be OK. I want them to succeed.
- I am a human. We know we are being judged for our choices and we are dealing with it the best way we can, for the sake of our child. Take the time to get to know us and you’ll see we are human just like you.
Take time this week to reach out and acknowledge your mothers. If you are an adoptive parent, we invite you to reach out to your child’s birth mother and acknowledge her, thank her, and let her know you are thinking about her this Birth Mother’s Day.
-submitted by Joyce Twite, LSS Adoption & Foster Care Administrative Support Specialist